Who Wants to be a Griffinair?
by Nibbler01
Summary: Peter gets hosted to be in the famous show, Who Wants to be a Millionair? That's pretty much the whole story! : Enjoy!


**"Who Wants To Be a Griffin-air?"**

**- A Family Guy Script -**

**Created by: Stephen.**

**- Opening Scene -**

**We see the exterior of the Griffin's house. Cut to the interior of the Griffin's house. We see Peter at the TV in the living room. We see the TV.**

**Announcer: We now return to when Rhino's Turn Bad. Starring Jim Carry as: The Rhino!**

**We see Peter.**

**Peter: Lois, come on! Hurry!**

**We see the TV again.**

**Cop: Come on Rhino, come get me!**

**Rihno: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!**

**The Rhino starts chasing the cop.**

**Cop: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEBODY HELP ME!**

**Peter: (Laughs).**

**Peter looks over his shoulder.**

**Peter: Lois come on, you're missing the best part!**

**Lois: I'm coming Peter! Hold on!**

**Peter looks over at the TV again.**

**Peter: (Moans)**

**We see the TV. We see that the rhino is dead. And that he has a harpoon in him.**

**Peter: Aw man! They killed him! And I didn't even get to see it!**

**Lois comes running down the stairs.**

**Lois: So, what did I miss?**

**Peter: Everything! (Farts) But you didn't miss that!**

**- Opening theme -**

**- Scene 1 -**

**We see the exterior of the Griffin's house. Cut to the interior of the Griffin's kitchen, Lois is there. Stewie comes running into the room.**

**Stewie: Lois, am I to run around the house in my own filth? Clean me woman!**

**Lois: Not now honey, mommy's got a headache!**

**Stewie: No you don't! I know what a headache feels like!**

**/We see Stewie drinking a slushie. He starts slurping really fast.**

**Stewie: AUUUGGGH! Brain Freeze! Da you brain! AAAAAUUUUUUGGGH!**

**Stewie falls to the floor and starts running around in circles./**

**Stewie: Now clean me or you can burn in he!**

**Stewie runs away.**

**Lois: (Sighs).**

**Lois pulls out an icepack and sits at the kitchen table. The phone starts to ring. Lois sighs and goes to the phone.**

**Lois: Hello? (Smiles) OH MY GOD!**

**Stewie comes bursting into the room.**

**Stewie: What happened? Did the old man or the dog die? I know just how the funural is going to turn out!**

**/We see everyone mourning over Peter and Brian's death. Lois goes up to the stand to say a few words.**

**Lois: I just can't believe that Peter and Brian are dead...I mean I loved them alot and-**

**We see Stewie holding a remote control.**

**Stewie: Show time!**

**Stewie presses a button on the remote control and the coffon blows up making everyone die with it.**

**Stewie: A-HA, VICTORY IS MINE!**

**A head comes flying at Stewie and knocks him into a lake./**

**Stewie: Or uh, something like that!**

**Lois: No sweetie, your daddy just got chosen to be put on the cool show, "Who wants to be a millionaire?"!**

**Stewie: Dam- wait a minute, if the fat man wins, I can steal the money and use it to buy a machine that would make me the ultimate ruler!**

**Lois: Stewie, that's a terrible thing to say!**

**Stewie: Your not supposed to hear me Lois!**

**We see the interior of the living room and the front door opens.**

**Peter: I'm home! And I'm starving!**

**Lois comes running to Peter.**

**Lois: Peter, the most amazing thing just happened.**

**Peter: Is it the same as last time?**

**/We see Peter is digging a hole on the beach and then he hits something. He bends down and picks it up.**

**Peter: What the he?**

**We see that he's holding a silver Holy Grail. He brushes off some sand and a wizard appears out of it.**

**Wizard: Thank you, that is mine!**

**Peter: What the he are you talking about? I found it first! It's mine!**

**The wizard and Peter have a tug-o-war fight. The wizard gets tired and Peter is about to use that as an advantage.**

**Wizard: Hey, isn't that Ricky Martin over there?**

**Peter: (Turns around) Where?**

**All of a sudden the Wizard takes the Holy Grail and runs away.**

**Peter: What the he? Get back here you magic BAST/**

**Lois: No Peter, you got chosen to be in the cool show, "Who wants to be a millionaire?"!**

**Peter: Wow, I'm going to be on TV! This is the best day of my LIFE!**

**Meg comes running down the stairs.**

**Meg: Dad's going to be on TV?**

**Lois: That's right honey your fat-**

**Meg: (Starts crying) Why are you torchoring me?**

**Meg runs up the stairs crying. We see that Chris was with Peter and he comes running into the room.**

**Chris: That's cool dad! Can I come with you? It'd get me away from the evil monkey that lives in my closet!**

**Lois and Peter: (Laughs) Evil monkey...**

**Chris looks at the stairway and sees the evil monkey, the evil monkey points at him.**

**Chris: (Crys) Leave me alone you dumb monkey!**

**- Commercial Break -**

**- Scene 2 -**

**We see the exterior of a stadium. Cut to the interior of the stadium. We see Regis and Peter sitting on the seats across from each other.**

**Regis: Now Peter, do you know how to play this game?**

**Peter: Umm, yes?**

**Regis: Okay, the rules of the game are simple, first I'll ask you a question and then I'll give you four choices, if you get the answer correct then you can go onto the next question. There is a total of 15 questions, if you answer the 15th question correctly then you win 1 000 000 dollars!**

**Peter: (Snores)**

**Regis: Peter, please pay attention!**

**Peter: (Wakes up) Huh, what-who!**

**Regis: Now then, as for life-lines, there are 3. 1 of them is 50/50, it'll take away 2 of the wrong answers. That means that there'll be one wrong answer and the correct answer. Another of the life-lines is Ask the Audience. When you use this life-line, certain members of the audience will tell you what they think the answer is. When you see the results I suggest you use the one most of the members think it is. The final life-line is Call a friend, here you get to chose who you want to call to help you answer the question, so you better chose wisely.**

**Peter: You talk way to much!**

**Regis: So, are you ready to get started?**

**Peter: Uh-huh...**

**Regis: Okay, just one more thing, the questions will get harder as they go along!**

**Peter: Ture..no wait! FALSE!**

**Regis: That wasn't a question and if it was then the correct answer is true. Now then, question number one, which person is _NOT_ in your family? A. Lois B. Peter C. Meg or D. Billy**

**Peter: Aw man, ugh, I know this one...uh, I don't remember a Lois...but there might be one. Uhhh, I'm not so sure about a Meg, but I don't think there's a Billy either, unless the wife is hiding something from me...uhh. Can I uh, call a friend.**

**Regis: Yeah sure why not, knock yourself out!**

**We hear Lois's cell phone ring in the audience.**

**Lois: Hello?**

**Peter: Yeah, hi the wife, what's the answer to this question?**

**Lois: IT'S BILLY!**

**Peter: Is it Billy?**

**Regis: And Billy is correct...(We hear a buzzing noise) And that's all the time we have today, join us next we-**

**Cam. Man #84: Actually Regis, it's just my cookies! They're done.**

**Regis: Right...anywho, next question. What show is Stewie looking for when he and Brian go to London?**

**Peter: Stewie went to London?**

**We see the interior of the Griffin's living room, Brian and Stewie are sitting on the couch watching the TV.**

**Stewie: Yes, that was a fun ride to London wasn't it.**

**Brian: Yes, it was for all of us!**

**We see the interior of the stadium, again.**

**Regis: Is it A. Jolly Farm Revue. B. Jacky Fan Review. C. The Show We Love to Hate. Or D. Teletubbies.**

**Peter: What kind of name is Stewie?**

**Interior of the living room.**

**Stewie: What the he, doesn't he know his own son? At this rate the fat man won't make any money. That fat as bast!**

**Interior of the stadium.**

**Regis: You can answer at any time Peter. Just don't use up all your life-lines right away!**

**Peter: Umm, well I know Stewie loved that Farm, but uhh, I don't know wether it's Jackie Fan Review or Jolly Farm Revue. Uhh.**

**Interior of the living room.**

**Stewie: It's Jolly Farm Revue! YOU IMBICILE! Or crap, there now are you happy?**

**Brian: Aww, did the poor infant soil himself?**

**Stewie: SHUT UP!**

**Interior of the stadium.**

**Peter: I'm going to take a wild guess and say Jolly Farm Revue!**

**Regis: That is correct!**

**Peter: OH MY GOD!**

**Regis: We'll be right back after these commercials.**

**- Commercial Break -**

**- Scene 3 -**

**Regis: We're now back with Mr. Peter Griffin. During the commercial break he's answered 12 of the answers correctly...**

**Interior of the Griffin's living room. We see Stewie and Brian drinking Juice and a bottle of wine. They spit out what they were drinking.**

**Brian: Oh my god, I didn't think Peter was so good.**

**Stewie: The fatty might win after all!**

**Interior of the stadium.**

**Regis: Peter, if you answer these last three questions correctly, you'll win 1 000 000 dollars! And plus a new bonus was added in the game...if you answer all the questions correctly and you haven't used up all your life-lines you'll win an extra 500 000 dollars!**

**Peter: Lay it on me, Regie!**

**Regis: it's Regis...**

**Peter: I'm sure it is Arnold!**

**Regis: Right...so anyways, these last three questions will not be about you and your family.**

**Peter: Aw crap!**

**Regis: Ok, question 13, In Futurama what is Fry's full name... Is A. Mississippi R. Fry B. Phillip B. Fry C. Phillip J. Fry or is it D. Joel L. Foodlewort.**

**Peter: Aw crap..I've seen that show, umm...oooooh, it's either B or C...let me remember.**

**/We see Peter watching Futurama. The Futurama theme is playing. We see the little joke at the bottom. It says, "Filmed in front of a live studio Aud- who are we kidding? It's just Phillip J. Fry" the theme finishes, we see Peter again.**

**Prof: Good news Phillip J. Fry.**

**Fry: What's the good news/**

**Peter: Is it...C?**

**Regis: Aww, I'm sorry...**

**Peter: (Crys)**

**Regis: That is correct!**

**Peter: (Stops crying) What?**

**Regis: Question 14...**

**10 minutes later**

**Regis: Congratoulations Peter, you're a 1 1/2 million air!**

**Peter: Yes!**

**Later...**

**We see the interior of the Griffin's house, we see Chris, Meg, Stewie, Brian and Lois. Peter comes bursting into the house.**

**Lois: So, where's the 1 1/2 million dollars?**

**Peter: Oh, yeah, about that... I uh, kind of spent it on uh, a new car and beer!**

**Lois: You what?**

**Peter: (Laughs) You should've seen how drunk I was! It was hilarious.**

**Lois: Peter! How could you have done that?**

**Stewie: I was supposed to be the ultimate ruler! (Crys)**

**Brian: (Rubs Stewie's head) There, there, there'll be other chances for you to be the ultimate ruler. I mean, you pretty much already are.**

**Stewie: What do you mean?**

**Brian: I mean Rupert takes orders from you.**

**Stewie kicks Brian in the croch and runs away.**

**Lois: We were supposed to use the money for good!**

**Peter: Well Lois, I believe you should have told me that before I used up all the money.**

**Lois: I DID!**

**The Griffin's argue, while the camera goes from the interior of the Griffin's house to the exterior of the Griffin's house..then the camera fades to black.**

_**THE END!**_

**Made-up by: Stephen.**

**Cast:**

**Seth McFarlane as: Peter, Stewie, Brian, Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Cop**

**Alex Borstein as: Lois, Tricia Takanawa**

**Seth Green as: Chris, Wizard**

**Mila Kunis as: Meg**

**Mike Henry as: Cleveland, Cam. Man #84**

**Patrick Warburton as: Joe**

**Guest Stars:**

**Regis Philbin as: Himself**

**Jim Carry as: The Rhino**

**Billy West as: Phillip J. Fry, Professor Hubert Farnsworth, Announcer**


End file.
